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[14 Mar 2009|01:44pm] |
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Currently:
I live in Savannah, Georgia.
Will be 21 for only a few more days.
I haven't cut my hair in over a year.
Sometimes shave my armpits.
Have love love love in my life.
I cry when a baby is in close proximity.
There are many confusing thoughts in my head.
I am printing my sister's wedding invitations.
I am so close to finishing school, I think.
...etc.
I am unaware if people still read these things.
I will be in miami on tuesday.
If you love me YOU WILL SEE ME.
<3
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[30 Oct 2007|07:24pm] |
Now that the East Village Radio is pumping in my ears,
Perhaps words will flow through my fingers a bit easier.
Or perhaps not.
Today Rich (my professor) handing me my recommendation for Lacoste, France.
God, spring in France! It sounds impossible.
I do hope I get to go.
Rich says it's so important for me to get out of here for my art to GROW.
I have been working on this self portrait series with intensity,
And it meant so much to me when I started.
They were images of me in my most vulnerable states.
Although now, they are beginning to feel redundant and empty.
I need a good kick in the ass for an idea to sprawl of out my hands.
I had to drop two classes at the beginning of this quarter.
So I am in one now. It's pathetic.
I just did not feel ready.
I'm in this big city. All by myself.
I live in 450 square feet.
The only home I feel is here in the printshop.
I've been far too concerned with dating.
It's fading now, although I have met people worth dating.
What I wonder is if I am even worth dating anymore?
I cannot remember this game. It's been so long.
And I still think of Kyle so fondly, and the way we loved each other.
It's hard to imagine love from anyone else, if it is possible.
I'm going to come home for seven weeks.
I'm looking forward to it, at the same time, dreading the approach of my arrival.
What will happen? Will it be like every other time, or have I really grown up this time?
I need to get a seasonal job.
Draw.
Sleep well.
Stay away from hardcore controlled substances.
Stay away from a certain boy who hurt me so.
See old faces from old times that I really care about.
I've lost so many friends.
Lately, I find myself thinking on my days with people like:
Jonathan Leventhal.
Connie Mae Oliver.
Katlyn Hershman.
Megan Hershman.
Kim and Bianca Perez.
Danielle Bender.
There are many more, obviously.
But these are the people that I never felt judged by.
These are the people that I could have fun with, without getting fucked up.
Although getting fucked up with them was always nice.
It's okay to be sober! I've got to learn that.
I drink far too much.
Maybe that's the cause of all this sadness.
That's enough for now.
I love you all.
Wake up.
yllek.
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| You can do it all by yourself. |
[16 Sep 2007|05:52pm] |
I have arrived in Hotlanta.
Been here for about three weeks.
And I could not be happier.
Old faces. New faces.
And new places.
I love it so far.
I am freshly single,
Living alone,
And working my ass off in the printshop.
Could not be happier.
Honestly.
Snap your fingers.
yllek.
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[10 Jul 2007|11:27pm] |
I feel guilty for many reasons.
Number one on my list is that I am not viewing Harry Potter as I type.
Number two I may have to drop a class...again.
Those are the most important reasons for now.
I am very lonely,
My phone has a meager 20 numbers in it,
Which more than half of are people in Miami.
So within the next two days,
Depending on when the human society calls me,
I will have a new friend,
Named Ocifer, he is a fluffy,
2 month old kitten
Who wears a tuxedo.
Also Katie, my totally awesome roommate,
Is getting a 5 month old pit mix puppy,
Whom she is naming Polka.
We are all very excited for the new friends about to enter our lives.
I need a companion.
I'm also going to start visiting a pyschiatrist soon,
For my health I suppose.
Go look in the closet!
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[02 Jun 2007|01:52pm] |
Hi, you don't know me,
And I'm really thankful for that.
I will be moving to Atlanta in the fall now it seems.
I will be taking residence with my friend Ursula for
what promises to be an exciting Savannah summer.
To be honest, I really hate that I even have to take a two week break from school.
I've really come to enjoy it.
It's weird to hear these things come out of my mouth.
I dread the thought of having to come home.
Really, I do. It will just mean the same old shit.
Life has gotten pretty boring...
But really exciting too?
Maybe I'm bipolar.
yllek.
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[16 Jan 2007|08:50am] |
Kleptomania (Greek: κλέπτειν, kleptein, "to steal", μανία, "mania") is an inability to resist impulses of stealing. A person with this disorder is compelled to steal things, generally things of little or no value, such as pens, paper clips, or small toys. Some may not be aware that they have committed the theft until later. The majority of kleptomaniacs sometimes have preferences to certain items (again, usually subconsciously); for example, batteries or television remotes.
Kleptomania is distinguished from shoplifting or ordinary theft, as shoplifters and thieves generally steal for monetary value, or associated gains and usually display intent or premeditation, while people with kleptomania aren't necessarily contemplating the value of the items they steal or even the theft until they are compulsed.
Although a kleptomaniac may steal uncontrollably without realisation, judicial courts in the United Kingdom and United States generally do not accept kleptomania as an affirmative defense.
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[01 Jan 2007|01:46pm] |
I have had this livejournal since I was fourteen.
Here is documentation of all the really stupid things I've done to myself.
And it seems I never learn my lesson, and I will always make things as complicated as possible.
I'm still pathetic and naive and hopeless.
I should make a resolution and fix that, but I'm not going to lie to myself anymore.
I would really like some hashbrowns.
Please lord, send me hashbrowns.
We are sleeping.
yllek.
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[15 Dec 2006|04:06pm] |
Would anyone else like to let me know how awful I am?
I need a shower.
yllek.
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[12 Dec 2006|02:12am] |
Dear God,
I am unsure whether I want to kill you or thank you.
All I am sure of at this moment is that I don't feel like myself anymore.
Find a way to cram it all in.
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[10 Dec 2006|11:38pm] |
Dear God,
Please guide me through the confusing times.
Don't let me down.
yllek.
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[17 Nov 2006|11:18pm] |
I think that Kyle should just buy me a ring already.
Haha.
Seriously though.
Eeeep.
yllek.
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[06 Nov 2006|11:36am] |
I've learned how to weed out the people that cause negative emotions.
I know that I don't really have many friends,
And that there's never usually anyone to call when I'm upset (aside from Kyle),
But I'm alright with that. Really.
There are like a handful of people in Savannah I could always rely on.
Not really any back home.
I haven't talked to Megan and Katlyn in so long,
And that upsets me. I need to learn how to communicate better.
Also, I have a very awesome sister who will listen to any problem I have.
And then she'll pretty much solve it.
She's a wonderful girl.
This winter break I am going up to New Jersey for Kyle's birthday,
And I'm super excited. I get to see New York and Philadelphia and snow,
All at once, all for the first time.
To prepare for the trip I purchased a rocawear bubble jacket that I live in.
Many local Savannians walking on the street like it very much.
Today there is a feather and braid in my hair,
And I've come to the conclusion that I should always dress like an indian.
My coffee is too bitter.
yllek.
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[02 Nov 2006|01:58pm] |
I'm going to trade in my chevy for a cadillac-lac-lac-lac-lac.
I should also know by now.
I get it, there is something wrong with me.
Good luck moving up, cos I'm moving out.
yllek.
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[01 Oct 2006|06:12pm] |
I would like to feel marley beneath my feet.
Come home until my toes were bleeding.
I would like to eat honey butter on bread with Megan.
Eat it until my stomach wanted to burst.
I would like to skip school with Katlyn and drink.
Drink until I forgot why I even wanted to skip.
I would like to play the circle game with my father.
Play until I had a bruise on my arm from when I lost.
I would like to smoke a big blunt with brother.
Smoke until I could not talk anymore.
I would like my sister to paint my nails again.
Paint them until she knew I was a little more calm.
I would like to watch While You Were Sleeping with my mother.
Watch it until I fall asleep.
There are so many things I would like.
There are so many things I would do over.
But there are so many more things I would never change.
Danger, danger drawing near them was a broad boat.
yllek.
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[25 Sep 2006|10:55am] |
I wish it was like that all the time.
Hello doctor.
Goodbye?
yllek.
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[13 Sep 2006|12:31pm] |
I do not know why I keep having such strange dreams.
Last night I dreamt someone shot my sister,
And I was freaking out of course.
Another dream was me hitting on Dov Charney at a bar,
And I think I sincerely wanted to go home with him.
Now, Franny is moving her tail across my face as she does her dance around the keyboard.
She is quite darling.
I think for dinner I'm going to sneak into SCAD cafe.
I don't want to be sick.
yllek.
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[11 Sep 2006|07:40pm] |
School starts on Wednesday.
It's nice to see old and new faces.
I already stopped feeling so bored.
And Franny is quite possibly the most amazing cat in the world.
I hate the happy birthday song.
yllek.
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[04 Sep 2006|05:54pm] |
I would write about work, but we are not allowed to mention it!
Jesus. F. Christ.
New bikes and margaritas.
I'm fucking stoked.
We could be heroes just for one day.
yllek.
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[03 Sep 2006|10:09am] |
I don't want to ever stop listening to the beach boys.
It's very exciting to know that my two of my favorite people will be back today and tommorow.
For oh, I don't know how long.
yllek.
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[02 Sep 2006|10:13am] |
There will always be one aspect of my life where I am very unhappy.
I can't wait for school to start.
I need something to occupy my time.
I been around this great big world and I've seen all kinds of girls.
yllek.
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